How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
