So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
