Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
