Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
