you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
