WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
