You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
