maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
