her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
