Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i came on her dog
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
