Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
