Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
