there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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