I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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