I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
