My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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