Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
