NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
