it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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