escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So here I am, sexting at work.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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