I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
