He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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