There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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