I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
