I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I am naked and annoyed.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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