Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
