Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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