sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
