Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
