the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
