sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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