Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
