I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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