the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
