i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize