Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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