please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
