he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
wow bdsm is so cute
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
