Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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