Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
