I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
