I'm so fucking centered right now
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
