Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
50% drunk capacity currently
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
