dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
