please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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