Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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