Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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