About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
