That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize