he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
