We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize