If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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