508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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