all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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