I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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