the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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