I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
